The image above, referred to as a 'masterplan' by Rochdale council, is the city fathers' compelling vision of how they will turn the space around Rochdale town hall into one of Europe's biggest public spaces. I tell you this in case you were labouring under the impression that said image was created by a child in a remedial class with only three felt tips to choose from: puce, flesh and powder blue.
If you will permit me to take a quote completely out of context, council leader Alan Taylor knows it shit but added: "We make no apologies for this." Well, thanks Alan.
You might think that this schematic is a little light on use and programme (beyond the visionary 'water features' that multiply offensively across the Stalin-style steppe that constitutes the new public space), but you'd be wrong. Look at the visualisation below:
They've thought hard about an innovative mix of 'cafe' on the ground floor with outdoor seating next to a dual carriageway, with 'mixed-use' space above it. Helpfully, they have placed two people in the 'mixed-use' space, presumably doing a mix of things. So you can really feel that mix happening.
Finally a key plank of revitalising the city centre will be to plant some trees, and then spray paint them purple:
Can anyone from Rochdale shed any light on this amateurish nonsense?
With many thanks to a contributor for this one...