Mountbatten Leisure Centre hosts many events every year, including Robot Wars. So when Saunders Architects got hold of the brief for this beauty, they decided to make a weird, wavy alpine roof with a giant piece of pipe smashed into it, in homage. It's basically an innocent wooden shed getting fucked by a giant robotic cock. I know that you guys love the sections that architects like Saunders draw, so here it is - the 'concept drawing'. Brilliant. It really 'emphasises the vibrant nature of the city of Portsmouth', to my eye.
You might have to click on this one to see it properly, but it is a quite remarkable drawing of possibly the ugliest sports hall you'll ever see. What's really, really bad about Archial is that they can't just accept they're rubbish. They feel a pressing need to 'do design', making funky (as in 'offensively malodorous') windows as in the right-hand side of the north elevation, and bizarre supergraphics.
The supergraphic totally confused me to begin with, until I realised it's a cack-handed version of an Otl Aicher pictogram. It's someone curling, of course. Although it looks at best like an Edwardian rugby player, and at worst someone readying themselves for a painful shafting.
OK, a little competition with this post. Can you make head or tail of Archial director Charles Smith?
From the press release: Charles Smith, director at Archial Architects, said, “The general design features of the building reflect the intentions for a world class facility. The elevational treatment of the building is suitably distinctive and will enhance the site’s sense of identity and linkages to the adjacent rural character, using natural, sustainable materials such as timber cladding within the scheme, which creates a horizontal emphasis to the building." Hm, OK. I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean.
“The use of different materials externally relates directly to the internal composition, therefore linking the internal space arrangements with the external appearance which, in turn, relates to the site and its origins." Sorry, Charles, you've lost me there.
“Whilst the development is to become an integral part of one of Kinross-shire’s main settlements, the palette chosen specifically reflects the rural setting, enhancing the natural materials and complementing the landscaped setting.” Yep. Absolutely no idea what you're getting at. Good luck with the planning application, though. The committee should be like a Beckett play if he carries on like that. Might be worth sitting in...
I hate how noone ever talks about how bad British architecture really is. I hate the bastards who make these buildings. So here I am, taking the piss out of them.
Mountbatten Leisure Centre hosts many events every year, including Robot Wars. So when Saunders Architects got hold of the brief for this beauty, they decided to make a weird, wavy alpine roof with a giant piece of pipe smashed into it, in homage. It's basically an innocent wooden shed getting fucked by a giant robotic cock.
Brilliant. It really 'emphasises the vibrant nature of the city of Portsmouth', to my eye.
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