PRESTWICK ACADEMY, SOUTH AYRSHIRE BY RYDER ARCHITECTURAL

This is just deadly, isn't it? This is an academy, the pride of Britain's schools system. The academy programme has created a generation of buildings that by and large are made of render, in white and coloured panels, designed by terrible architects like Ryder who treat them like just another developer piece of shit.
Like this one, academies often have glassy atrims to try to look less forbidding and more democratic than Victorian schools, but usually end up looking like they should be on a low-rent business park somewhere in, er, Ayrshire.
I like to imagine what the conversation in the Ryder office was like when they chose where to put the yellow panels in the wing on the left hand side. 'No, a bit left.' 'Put three yellow bits in that one." "Move that one a bay to the right." "That's it! Perfect."
The public realm outside has been comprehensively galvanised, with only the bits of timber on the benches giving a hint of what might have been.

MOUNTBATTEN LEISURE CENTRE, PORTSMOUTH BY SAUNDERS ARCHITECTS

Mountbatten Leisure Centre hosts many events every year, including Robot Wars. So when Saunders Architects got hold of the brief for this beauty, they decided to make a weird, wavy alpine roof with a giant piece of pipe smashed into it, in homage. It's basically an innocent wooden shed getting fucked by a giant robotic cock.
I know that you guys love the sections that architects like Saunders draw, so here it is - the 'concept drawing'.
Brilliant. It really 'emphasises the vibrant nature of the city of Portsmouth', to my eye.